‘Tsar-A-Largo’ — #Lyrics To An Anti-Trump #Pop Protest Ballad

I don’t know why I keep writing these lyrics since for obvious legal reasons they will never be produced by anyone of note — the people who would actually do anything with them don’t want to risk being sued. I guess I keep doing it for the sheer enjoyment of telling a story in verse. The fact that it’s meant to be sung is icing on cake. This is meant to be a bit more serious than Bertie Higgins’ Key Largo. It’s meant to have a more of an Eagles vibe to it. But, whatever, no one cares. I just feel like writing and this is easy to do for me.

Tsar-A-Largo
lyrics by Shelton Bumgaraner
@bumgrls
please give credit if you produce or perform

So many ways to be corrupt these days
women come and go and you grab each one
Billy Bush won’t mind if you try enough
’cause he’s just there for fluf

the Russians are all around it seems
what gives with that is all I ask
they’re like our kissing cousins
the type we can get enough of

[chorus]
things are going to get tough
just plea the fifth
just plea the fifth
we’ll living just right
at Tsar-a-Largo
at Tsar-a-Largo

Ivanka bats her eyes
tells you she’ll always be there
with great flair
she’s your daughter, don’t go there
but even on a dare you know
the two of you will always have
at Tsar-a-Largo
at Tsar-a-Largo

[chorus]
things are going to get tough
just plea the fifth
just plea the fifth
we’ll living just right
at Tsar-a-Largo
at Tsar-a-Largo

[bridge]
Tsar-a-Largo
what more can I say
lovely as can be
the sea breeze will just be right
when the hoards attack the Winter White House
in the heat of the night

the scandals will fade
but the pain will remain I’m afraid
just give a moment of thought
make sure you you’re safe
don’t fall into hate
in the end we’ll always have
at Tsar-a-Largo
at Tsar-a-Largo

Trumplandia Report, Evening Edition For May 25th, 2017 — Trump Gets Pushy

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Introduction

I still don’t know how this is going to sort out. I know I want to do something on a regular basis about Trump, but it seems as though it would be best done as an email tip sheet. But, given that no one seems all that interested in giving me their email addresses, I will do it as a blog for the time being. Having said that, no one is reading this, either. So, really, this is more for my benefit than anything else. But it is enjoyable to write and it’s fun to use all this information I have about Trump in my mind in a productive manner.

The Montana Body Slam
According to sources on Twitter, the GOP candidate for the open House seat in Montana, Greg Gianforte, allegedly has received some $100,000 in new campaign funds since the recorded incident. If ever there was a sign of the new Trumplandia that we live in, that is it. But, as I have noted before, we shouldn’t get too excited one way or another about this race. Though some on the Left think he Gianforte loses it’s an indication that Trump is losing support, in fact 60% of the votes have already been cast. And Montana is about as Red as you can get, so something dramatic would happen for Gianforte to lose. And even if he does, the GOP can spin it that there were “special circumstances” that caused it.

Trump NATO Blunders
Again, according to reports bubbling up on Twitter, Donald Trump acted like a real asshole at the NATO summon in Brussels. He pushed his way to the front of the line, jostling the leader of Montenegro along the way. He refused to say he supported Article 5 of the NATO treaty, which says if one member is attacked, everyone is attacked. And, in general, NATO leaders appeared to think Trump a total dumbass. Which, of course, he is. He also scolded the members of NATO for not paying their fair share when it came to the treaty obligations.

Travel Ban Struck Down, Again
The 4th Circuit Court of Appeals shot down yet another edition of Donald Trump’s travel ban from several majority Muslim nations. It will be interesting to see what happens next on this front.It will be interesting to see if Trump tries again to do this or not.

Conclusion
We continue to live in Trumplandia. And there does not seem to be any way out any time soon. I hope to try to make this more formalized in the coming days. I will probably do these as events warrant as well as in the morning and may be even in the evening, too. I just don’t know. It would be nice if someone, somewhere would read these. But I guess you have to start somewhere.

Trumplandia Report For May 25th, 2017 — Don’t Body Slam Me, Brah

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Introduction:

I know I feel like doing something on a daily basis about this new world we live in, Trumplandia, but I don’t know exactly what I want to do. We seem to live in a regular state of uncertainty, and I am a little obsessed with news about Trump, so it makes sense to maybe use all that obsession productively.

I don’t know exactly how it will shape up, though. It could be an email list, it could be a blog, I just don’t know. But I feel like there is both a market and audience for a narrowcast media outlet devoted to covering the latest outrage on the part of Donald Trump. Or, put another way, I’m interesting in putting the energy into doing from my point of view.

So, maybe nothing will come of this, or maybe something will. I don’t know. Only time will tell. But I might as well try and see what happens. Right now, the key issue is will this be an email tip-sheet or a blog? If you want it be a tip-sheet, send me your email at migukin (at) gmail.com and I will add you and go that direction with this. If no one does that, I will just write this up as events warrant, but at least once a day in the mornings. If this becomes really popular, I’m going to need donations for bandwidth, if nothing else.

The Trumplandia Report
May 25, 2017

It seems as though each day brings with it totally bonkers news here in this new era, this new land we call Trumplandia. The president of the United States, Donald J. Trump, is willfully obstructing justice in an on-going manner and yet it seems no one cares in Congress. Vichy Republicans control both houses of Congress and they are willful in their complicity when it comes to Trump’s ongoing violation of the Constitution.

So much news is coming at us so fast these days that we risk an overload. We risk being burnt out to such an extent that we endup with a “managed democracy” like they have in Russia. I, for one, believe the American spirit is such that this won’t happen, no matter what.

The big news today in Trumplandia is the vicious assault of Ben Jacobs of The Guardian by Republican candidate Greg Gianforte in Montana. The event — of which there is an audio-recording — took place when Jacobs asked a question about the Congressional “score” of TrumpCare. While Rightwing Nutjobs tried to spin this event in their usual surreal manner, the cold hard truth is Jacobs was not doing anything to warrant the bodyslam.

Three of Montana’s major newspapers have taken back their endorsement of Gianforte as a result of this news. However, reports are that close to 60% of the expected vote has already come in through mail-in early voting, so it’s uncertain how likely it is that this tragic event will make any difference in the actual outcome of the vote. It must be noted that Montana is extremely conservative and even though this race has garnered national attention, it was unlikely to go to the Democratic challenger Rob Quist, regardless of what happened.

Quist, as I understand it, isn’t even that good a candidate all things considered and so it was one of those things were all the hype about this race being a referendum for Trumplandia is rather misguided.

In other news, Trump today is in Brussels for a NATO summit. Reports say that NATO officials were expecting the visit like one might “expect an asteroid.” As you may recall, Trump during the 2016 campaign claimed that NATO was “obsolete” and yet within the first 100 days of his administration saw the light and decided it wasn’t.

Elsewhere in Trumplandia, Buzzfeed is reporting that an employee for Trump’s “Winter White House” has been doing logistics work for Trump during his foreign trip. She got a government phone and email and everything, acccording to Buzzfeed.

All of this takes place as there are at least four major investigations going on of the Trump Administration. Three in Congress and one by the Special Counsel. I am not one of those people who feel Trump will be impeached anytime soon. In fact, I think it will be unlikely it will happen until at least 2019, and that assumes both houses of Congress flip in 2018.

The path of history is rarely a straight line and so there are bound to be any number of bizarre twists and turns to this tale of Trumplandia before it’s finally over. Donald Trump has show himself to be, if nothing else, a survivor.

‘The Only Living Girl In New York’ — #Lyrics To A #Pop #Ballad Ode To Eve Peyser

Eve Peyser of Vice mentioned someone did something creepy on the subway to her and posted a picture of herself where she mentioned she looked a chipmunk of or something. I said she did, in fact, look cute, and then some person flamed me for simply mentioning that. I am in a lyric writing mood — really, in the context of this ever be performed more poetry than anything else. But this poetry is meant to be sung. I honestly know nothing about Ms. Peyser beyond her Twitter bio. But I’m annoyed at that comment and so I wrote these lyrics in my defense.

The Only Living Girl In New York
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

Eve, catch your subway to Vice
place the latch on your Brooklyn door
as you bounce down the stairs in a rush
wouldn’t want your pay to get docked

Twitter is full of doom and gloom
can’t tell a woman she’s cute on Twitter
the haters will come hither
if you tell a woman she’s cute on Twitter
doesn’t matter Eve’cause you’re the
the only living girl in New York

[bridge]
most of the time we can’t find the truth
have to be careful about what we say
don’t mean to loot your safe space
but your chipmunk grin is no sin
to this poor boy from far out of town

Eve, catch your subway to Vice
don’t let the creepy dudes cause you trouble
hopefully they’ll let you live in your bubble
’cause if nothing else you’ll always know you’re
the only living girl in New York
the only living girl in New York
the only living girl in New York

A Surreal Winter 2018 Scenario #Trump #Resist

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I love to run scenarios and so I have sketched out a pretty surreal one in my head about what might happen should the worst occur and there is proof that Trump did, in fact, knowingly collude with the Russians to rig the 2016 election.

So, imagine its late 2018 and the Republicans have lost an enormous number of seats in both the House and Senate. Enough that it’s pretty obvious that Trump is going to be impeached, because, well, Trump will never resign. A few months exist between election day and when the new Congress is sworn in, so there is plenty of time for the Republicans to do all sorts of mischief.

I am think, specifically, of them impeaching Trump themselves so they will have the right to pick who will replace Mike Pence as Veep. Given how surreal they are in their partisanship, it doesn’t take too much to assume that if Trump’s approval ratings dip below, say, 20%, that they will suddenly find the backbone they have not had all this time.

It will help, of course, that they would, on a strategic level, get to pick Pence’s Veep. They might go to Trump and beg that he resign, but he doesn’t give a shit about the Republican Party and I just don’t see him doing it. His personality is such that he would have to actually be convicted by the Senate before he would leave office.

And that doesn’t even begin to address the idea that he might, well, pardon himself and everyone involved in an effort to save himself. I am assuming he could still be convicted of abuse of power, should that happened. I think, at least.

But Democrats, after winning Congress back and suffering through about a year of an epic scandal might not play along. So, you would have the weird situation of the Democrats refusing to impeach a president who obviously has colluded with a foreign power so THEY can impeach him later. It might be a little bit too much for everyone to handle. Or not. The whole thing would be so weird and epic that we’d all be talking about it for years go come.

And that doesn’t even begin to address the fact that Democrats, once they get Congress in their power may, by January 2019 be so radical and pissed that they will go after Pence, too, especially if they know they can get the presidency if they balk and letting him pick his veep.

It would all be very, very weird. And, sadly, the way things are going, it could all be very real in a few years.

Sorry, But Not Sorry, Rep. Nunes #Resist

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Rep. Devin Nunes is such a tool of the Trump Administration, the whole thing is an embarrassment to American democracy. It is completely bonkers that he would go to the White House and tell it super-secret revelations about…the White House.

Then he has the audacity to say, in general terms…and in private!…that has a sorry for what he had done. This is a prime example that the Republican Party is now so partisan that it would rather protect that potentially treasonous behavior of the president than look into the situation honestly. It’s all very surreal. It’s all very bizarre.

It’s because of the behavior of Rep. Nunes and his fellow Republicans that this scandal not only will grind one for years, it may very well do irrevocable arm to the American Republic. It could be years and God only knows how may amazing revelations before the Trump Administration starts to feel any heat. Right now, they are pretty insulated from any political damage connected to Trump’s collusion with the Russians because, well, Republicans are so surreal in their partisanship that they could care less.

This is all really horrible. What Trump is doing to America could, over the course of the next few years, stir up such epic forces that we will look back upon it with awe. We are pretty much engaged in a civil war of sorts, only of a political nature.

The Republican base is so partisan, so devoted to Trump and his bizarre world view, that I have come to believe even treason on his part won’t make him blink an eye. They just don’t care. All they care about is some of the core ideas of lower taxes, outlawing abortion and less regulation.

I really don’t have much faith in any of this. This is a dark time in American history. I just don’t think anything will happen to fix this problem for a long, long, time. We probably will be still talking about this in a year, if not two years.

That is kind of deep, I have to say.

Trump Is A Traitor. Now What #resist #TrumpRussia

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I feel as though it’s pretty obvious that Donald Trump campaign knowingly colluded with the Russians to rig the 2016 in his favor through the strategic use of leaked e-mails from the Hillary Clinton campaign. The question, of course, is, now what.

Every day, it seems, there is a pretty as though the elites in America are completely clueless as to what I can see with my own senses. Nothing Trump does seems to have any political consquences. To say it is surreal is an understatement. It is pretty obvious that the Trump Administration has, if nothing else, a soft spot for Russia. And yet I feel like I’m the only person to notice this. It is really weird.

It is looking ever more likely that rather than being the end of the Trump Administration as it should be, it, is, in fact just the beginning of a scandal that will grind along for months, if not years. Trump will never resign and given how bizarrely partisan is base is, I would not put it passed him to not survive this scandal, but to actually thrive.

Some tectonic political forces at work and there simply is no quick, short-term fix to why Trump has been so successful despite the fact that any reasonable observer would be willing to entertain the notion that Trump has surrounded himself with traitors and, may, in fact, be one himself.

So all of this is all very surreal. Extremely surreal. The normal laws of politics seem to have been suspended and their return doesn’t seem to likely anytime soon. Trump has a core base that lies somewhere between 20% and 30% of the electorate. I have come to believe that Trump pretty much could strangle someone live on FOX News and his base would not blink an eye.

Should the traditional rules of politics snap back into place and people wake up to the treasonous behavior that Trump has engaged in, then even more surreal things could happen. Since Trump will never, ever resign, we may be in for some truly calamitous political events in the next few years.

Events that will make our jaws drop more than once. Because, if nothing else, Trump has proven there will be no “pivot” on his part. What you see is what you get. We’re screwed.