Periscope & The Death Of Personal Blogging

By Shelton Bumgarner

shelton-Profile03It occurred to me today that I don’t do a lot of blogging anymore. I just like Periscope so much more. It’s fun to dictate a blog post. I also like the idea that it’s harder for haters, stalkers and trolls to keep tabs on me in some ways. (It’s also a lot easier for them to keep tabs on me in some ways using Periscope, but whatever.)


I think it’s possible that a lot of people who would otherwise blog will now use streaming media services like Periscope and It’s gotten so bad that I have begun to use a “secret” Periscope account. Something that allows me to talk about myself without having to worry about haters, trolls and stalkers.

Whatever. If you really want to know what I think about things, follow me on Periscope at bumgarls. I will block you if you give me trouble, though.

Lazy, Idle Observations About Gawker & New York Magazine

By Shelton Bumgarner

shelton-Profile03I have reached the existential meh stage of my life, I’m afraid. I enjoy writing, but unless someone is paying me, generally I don’t give a shit. I just don’t fucking care. I have little dust storms that come out of nowhere that make me want to write about this or that thing for a little bit, but I can’t keep the momentum.

And, really, the only reason why I’m even writing this is the idle desire to see people from New York City in my Webstats. Also, I feel like writing. This seems like an somewhat fun thing to write about.

Briefly, I continue to find it interesting how meh Gawker is compared to New York Magazine’s Website. is everything should be. I actually want to read all the articles on’s Website all the way to the end.

Meanwhile, with Gawker I scan the headlines and don’t really see anything I want to read. Meh. What’s the point. It’s as if the whole operation is dead in the water. I’m way too lazy to go into detail as to how dead in the water it is. But, needless to say, it’s really, really dead in the water.

It’s so dead in the water, it’s difficult for me to muster a meh.

Anyway. I’m too lazy to write anymore right now.

How To Save Newspapers

By Shelton Bumgarner

shelton-Profile03Sigh. I have dwelled upon the fate of newspapers for a long, long, long, long, long time. The core aspect of a newspaper isn’t so much the newspaper as its relationship to its readers. That’s something that is difficult for Websites to replicate. So, if I was given the magical ability to “save” newspapers, here is what I would do.

1. Go to the “Berliner” size format.
I like this size format because it kind of looks like a tablet. And, I really hate how thin broadsheets have become. The reader feels like they’re cheated — and they probably are. If you go to the Berliner size newspaper, the reader is at least one step away from holding a table in their hand anyway.

2. Think seriously of giving year subscribers a Internet-enabled tablet
Once you go to the Berliner size of paper, you train readers to enjoy the newspaper in a new way. Then for those people who actually buy six months or year subscriptions to the newspaper (typically that ain’t cheap) you give a tablet instead of a newspaper. It would be a tablet they could use for general browsing of the Internet, but they would get full access to the newspaper’s content as well.

3. Turn the print edition of the newspaper in a glossy magazine that comes out once a week
Just as dinosaurs evolved into birds, maybe the fate of newspapers is to turn into magazines. I mean, New York Magazine survived the death of the New York Herald-Tribune, so it is possible for something like that to happen. If the print edition of the newspaper came out once a week on Sunday, I think newspapers might thrive.

What’s With All The Watermelon, Yo?

By Shelton Bumgarner

shelton-Profile03So. thousands, neh, millions of years of evolution went into our minds and we get…watermelon? There seems to be a spat of watermelon related information(?) in the news(?) lately and I want…um…answers(?). We’re all programmed to see patterns and I definitely see patterns when it comes to watermelons.

It all started, I think, when Buzzfeed did a Facebook Live segment about exploding watermelons. Or watermelon. I never actually got far enough through the live streaming to find out exactly the point of it all. Then Gawker did a post about watermelons (out of spite?) by Sam Biddle. Don’t know why they entitled it “Watermelon Story By Sam Biddle.” That is, well, a bit odd unto itself.

Then also today we had commentary about the Buzzfeed stunt by New York Magazine saying the stunt was pretty good. I haven’t really read any of these articles — nor finished watching the original Buzzfeed Facebook Live — so I am kind of at a loss as to why any of this is relevant when two nutjobs — that would be Ted Cruz and Donald Trump — are pretty damn close to being president of the United States.

Whoa, Is Gawker Boring

By Shelton Bumgarner

shelton-Profile03I only casually read now and when I do read it I shake my head at how dull it is. There’s simply no umph there anymore. As I keep saying, if they wanted to shake things up they would hire _me_. Now, it is completely ridiculous for me to suggest that for various reasons, but it is fun to daydream about.

I feel I could contribute a lot to Gawker in ways large and small. But, alas, as I keep saying, while in my fevered imagination I am more than qualified to write for them, in reality, not so much. I just am too old, if nothing else. And, as I keep saying, I live in something of a media bubble. If I was getting paid to obsess over the infotainment-industrial complex, that would be one thing, but I’m not.

I’m just a creative guy who bounces around different mediocre projects, rarely, if ever, finishing anything of them.

But it is fun to daydream. I could really do a lot for Gawker if they’d just give me a chance. I really could. I would spice things up a great deal. I have a weird way of looking at the world and I think a lot of Gawker’s readers would enjoy what I had to say.

Yet, whatever.

New York Magazine Is Hiring, But Who Am I Kidding

By Shelton Bumgarner

shelton-Profile03My favorite Website / magazine New York Magazine is hiring. I find myself idly thinking of applying for one of the positions. But, really, who am I joking. I don’t living in New York City and even if I could commute, I live in such a media bubble — and don’t really care that much, anyway — that it would be difficult for me to make my case.

When I say I don’t care, I guess I mean I don’t care enough to write about stuff New York Magazine wants to cover without getting paid. If I was getting paid, then, of course, I would bone up on media, etc.

But without getting paid, I feel kind of meh. Just meh.

Whatever. If I can’t find out about it passively through Twitter or Facebook, then I have no desire to learn more about it. And, really, to be honest, there are people who went to Ivy League schools and grad schools who are obsessed with the media. I barely graduated college for various reasons. (Something I continue to be embarrassed about.)

Anyway. I could waste everyone’s time by applying for a job at New York Magazine, or could just work on my novel.