Snort. Let’s See If I Can Make People Freak Out — Alexa Chung, Let’s Have Korean

By Shelton Bumgarner

shelton-Profile03I am in a writing mood, so here you go. Not only do I think Nick Denton should sell Gawker Media to me for $1, I think Alexa Chung should have Korean food with me when I visit NYC in a few weeks. She can even bring her boyfriend with her, if she likes.

All of this is just me having some fun. I want to see how many people come to this site worried that I am doing something untoward when I visit the city. Maybe my famous hater — the one who wants me to kill myself — will come back and, what, threaten to visit me in Richmond and have fisticuffs? [And, yeah, I know there’s someone in D.C. who is really interested in anything I write about Ms. Chung. I worry that person is with the FBI or something. Cool it, guys. I’m just being silly.]

Anyway, I don’t care. This is just for fun. This is just clickbait. Do not take this seriously. But I can promise Ms. Chung a fun time if she accepts. We’ll get wasted and she can sing “Blue Denim” at noraebang all she wants. And, really, all of this is an effort on my part to kind of cheer myself up. I’ve been feeling a little down and just writing about something as ridiculous as this makes me feel a little better.

That cheering up is dampened some by how much I have to explain that I’m not a crazed psychopath. I’m just a guy who is being silly and felt like writing something a microscopically provocative. Hell, I can’t even get the one famous person I actually know — Elisa Jordana to consider meeting up with me in NYC.

So, I know I’m opening myself up to a freak out. But, maybe, that’s the point. I’m kind of bored and in desperate need of something interesting — if not fun-interesting — to happen on even a minor level.

On The Issue Of Trolls

by Shelton Bumgarner

shelton-Profile03I am growing ever more annoyed with online trolls. They are really making me so unhappy that I feel like walking away from not only but Periscope as well. I feel like using only Facebook Live Video, if for no other reason than even though there’s not as much engagement, there’s also a lot less trolls.

Sometimes, I just feel like I can’t get any justice or peace. People give me grief for the stupidest things and I already feel better not having to deal with trolls on Blab. At least with Periscope — at least for the most part — I can just block trolls who give me too much trouble. Or kill the scope. With Blab it is significantly more difficult to extricate yourself from a bad conversation. On a psychological level, you can get sucked into a pretty horrible situation and two hours have elapsed before you realize what has happened.

The issue with Blab is it’s dying, or at least contracting. And the trolls continue to gravitate to me like some sort of lightening rod. I just don’t get it. I just don’t understand. Probably it is because I wear my heart on my sleeve and they can goad a reaction out of me.

Anyway. Feh. Meh. I don’t know what I’m going to do about all of this. I’m really frustrated.

I’m Going To #NYC To Give Myself Something To Talk About On Periscope

by Shelton Bumgarner

shelton-Profile03I am now set to go to New York City in about four weeks. A lot could happen between now and then to prevent that from happening, but it gives me something to look forward to, something to believe in and, most importantly, something to talk about — specifically on Periscope.

I’m the kind of guy if I don’t have something to look forward to I get even more moody and depressed than usual. I would say that right now I have a 50/50 shot of actually going to New York City for various reasons. But even that is fun. All the ups and downs are the type of things that generate fodder for discussion on various levels.

Just the idea of maybe going to New York City and all the research involved to do it right is great material for Periscope. So, if you think I might be going to NYC to stalk this or that celebrity you can just suck it. Not that it really matters. If you’re a hater, you’re going to hate no matter what I say.

I am debating about how much information I should tell the Internet about my itinerary. The last thing I need is someone stalking _me_ while I in the city. I think I’ll try to keep things general. But it is fun to see if anyone notices I’m coming into the city. I’m quite addicted to the Webstats of my various sites and I find it intriguing that _anyone_ would be interested in my trip.

It May Be 4 Weeks, Not 2 Weeks Before I Visit #NYC

By Shelton Bumgarner

shelton-Profile03I haven’t requested my boss scrap my request off in two weeks yet, so I don’t know if I can do it, but if I can I am going to reschedule my trip to NYC to four weeks from now instead. I just don’t have the money to go right now, afterall. I was kind of down yesterday thinking about that, but now I’m ok.

If I can’t change my schedule, then I probably just wait until the spring before I go. I really need to pay down some debt and this whole trip is pretty much me running away from that for psychological reasons. I really do still want to see all those places I have suggested in NYC, but this whole trip is more an excuse to have something to talk about on Periscope than anything else.

And I need something to look forward to in general. Just having something to look forward to is pretty important to me on a basic level.

‘White Flag’ — Why Do I Still Think About ROKon Magazine?

by Shelton Bumgarner

Annie Shapiro and I at the height of ROKon Magazine.
Annie Shapiro and I at the height of ROKon Magazine.
So, here I am, nearly a decade after the event, and I still think about ROKon Magazine. It was never even that good a magazine, but it had a lot of spirit and it was, at least to date, the single most significant event of my life. It was my WWII, my Vietnam.

It changed everything about how I view myself and the world around me. And at the center of it all were two women. One I feel free to talk about for various reasons including the fact that, well, she’s dead and that’s Annie Shapiro. The other woman I’m significantly more reluctant to talk about. She knows how I feel about her, but I still don’t want to risk hurting her anymore than I already have. (Or at least freaking out.)

It’s times like this, when I’ve had a little to drink and I’m feeling melancholy that I reflect on how the events of that short few months in 2006-2007 revolutionized my life. I was a publisher. I was a DJ. I was a man about town. It was pretty fun, all things considered. It nearly killed me in some ways, but it was a lot of fun.

But now, I just feel meh all the time. I just don’t have any motivation anymore. I just don’t know what I’m going to do with my life and I haven’t known that for a long, long, long time. Maybe if I had a woman in my life, I would know which direction to go. I would just go whereever she suggested.

Yet, as it stands, I got squat.

I keep asking for something “fun-interesting” to happen to me, but the older I get, the more I realize you have to create such things on your own. And that’s tough. It’s really tough. Fun-interesting things just don’t happen out of the blue, they are usually the result of a lot of hard work that seems effortless.

But what am I going to do. Nothing fun-interesting, besides, maybe, going to New York City in a few weeks, seems on the agenda for me.

I Just Can’t Believe Alexa Chung’s ‘People’ Would Care About Me

by Shelton Bumgarner

shelton-Profile03Sometimes, shit happens that leaves me scratching my head. Now, I have no idea who these people are who keep pinging this site from all over the world snooping into my very casual and brief writing about fashion It Girl Alexa Chung (who I think is a stunner) but given how few people look at this site, it is very noticeable. (At least on the backend.)

Now, it could be anybody. It could be anybody from Paris who is looking at what I have written about Ms. Chung. But, then, there is the strange ones where someone from Sweden of all places look at what I’ve written. As I understand it, Ms. Chung is dating a…uhh… well hung Swedish actor of some note (whose name eludes me and I’m too lazy to look up) so….is it possible….that someone directly connected to Ms. Chung knows who I am?

If that is even remotely possible, I would be flabbergasted. I haven’t written anything bad about her and am not even celebrity crushing on her like I used to. I still find her extremely attractive, but in a much more remote manner. My little obsession which, according to my personal hater was an example of me making women feel “awkward.” (I still think that’s got to be the lowest rung of the negative side effect of someone’s obsession with you….awkward? Really. I’d at least like to think I might have gotten to “freaked out.”)

Anyway, I only invoked her name in this post’s headline to poke the bear, as it were. I continue to find it amusing that anyone at all would notice or care that I am writing about someone so famous. It makes you wonder — could a famous person (at her “people” really be so insecure that they would notice or care that someone as big a nobody as me was writing about her even a little bit? I struggle to make sense of that possibility. I haven’t written anything all that interesting as best I can tell and there must be many thousands of dudes just like me who have a celebrity crush on Ms. Chung. And, besides, isn’t that the very nature of celebrity? That you _want_ attention.

And you can’t even say she wouldn’t want the type of attention I was giving her because, well, it would be difficult to prove that I was harassing her in any realistic manner. If you were a psycho hater who wanted me to kill myself, yeah, maybe you might think I was bothering her. But, I think, the average objective person wouldn’t think anything I had written was all that bad or noteworthy.

That, of course, is why I keep writing about Ms. Chung long after I should stop — I simply can’t see how I have done anything wrong. I may have overreacted from haters associated with her, but when it comes to she herself, I have been rather copacetic, if not boring.

I just hate the idea that someone who hates on me over this issue would cower me into not writing about Ms. Chung when I absolutely haven’t done anything wrong. I just, for a moment about a year ago, found myself with too much time on my hands and decided to on a lark write lot about her. Can’t see how there’s anything wrong with that, given how famous she is.

I Want To Peek Inside The Offices Of Gawker Media When I Go to #NYC

by Shelton Bumgarner

shelton-Profile03The last time I went to New York City, I saw the outside of Gawker Media’s offices because it was really early Saturday morning. But this time, I am going to New York City Thursday night instead of Friday night, so I’ll be there during a work day. I just want to peek inside the offices of Gawker and then be on my way. I would like to think that wouldn’t be too much trouble.

I also would like to look at the offices of New York Magazine and maybe The New Republic. I am a long-time fan of both of those publications and it would be cool just to look around for a moment to see what their HQ looks like. But I don’t know what their policies are on such things. They may not allow outsiders in their offices at all. That is yet more stuff I have to research before I go. (If things work out and I can actually go.)

I am also interested in seeing the foyer of The New York Times. I looked through the window of the doors of the building when I was last in New York City and there didn’t seem to be much in the foyer, but it would be cool to at least be inside the building for a moment.

Regardless, as I keep saying, I have a lot of stuff to think about. I have to actually research this trip for once instead of doing my usual lazy where my heart takes me approach to travel.