By Shelton Bumgarner
I am in a writing mood, so here you go. Not only do I think Nick Denton should sell Gawker Media to me for $1, I think Alexa Chung should have Korean food with me when I visit NYC in a few weeks. She can even bring her boyfriend with her, if she likes.
All of this is just me having some fun. I want to see how many people come to this site worried that I am doing something untoward when I visit the city. Maybe my famous hater — the one who wants me to kill myself — will come back and, what, threaten to visit me in Richmond and have fisticuffs? [And, yeah, I know there’s someone in D.C. who is really interested in anything I write about Ms. Chung. I worry that person is with the FBI or something. Cool it, guys. I’m just being silly.]
Anyway, I don’t care. This is just for fun. This is just clickbait. Do not take this seriously. But I can promise Ms. Chung a fun time if she accepts. We’ll get wasted and she can sing “Blue Denim” at noraebang all she wants. And, really, all of this is an effort on my part to kind of cheer myself up. I’ve been feeling a little down and just writing about something as ridiculous as this makes me feel a little better.
That cheering up is dampened some by how much I have to explain that I’m not a crazed psychopath. I’m just a guy who is being silly and felt like writing something a microscopically provocative. Hell, I can’t even get the one famous person I actually know — Elisa Jordana to consider meeting up with me in NYC.
So, I know I’m opening myself up to a freak out. But, maybe, that’s the point. I’m kind of bored and in desperate need of something interesting — if not fun-interesting — to happen on even a minor level.