Category Archives: Uncategorized

‘The Only Living Girl In New York’ — #Lyrics To A #Pop #Ballad Ode To Eve Peyser

Eve Peyser of Vice mentioned someone did something creepy on the subway to her and posted a picture of herself where she mentioned she looked a chipmunk of or something. I said she did, in fact, look cute, and then some person flamed me for simply mentioning that. I am in a lyric writing mood — really, in the context of this ever be performed more poetry than anything else. But this poetry is meant to be sung. I honestly know nothing about Ms. Peyser beyond her Twitter bio. But I’m annoyed at that comment and so I wrote these lyrics in my defense.

The Only Living Girl In New York
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

Eve, catch your subway to Vice
place the latch on your Brooklyn door
as you bounce down the stairs in a rush
wouldn’t want your pay to get docked

Twitter is full of doom and gloom
can’t tell a woman she’s cute on Twitter
the haters will come hither
if you tell a woman she’s cute on Twitter
doesn’t matter Eve’cause you’re the
the only living girl in New York

[bridge]
most of the time we can’t find the truth
have to be careful about what we say
don’t mean to loot your safe space
but your chipmunk grin is no sin
to this poor boy from far out of town

Eve, catch your subway to Vice
don’t let the creepy dudes cause you trouble
hopefully they’ll let you live in your bubble
’cause if nothing else you’ll always know you’re
the only living girl in New York
the only living girl in New York
the only living girl in New York

Talk To Me Internet: #Writing The Second Draft Of The #Novel #AmWriting

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

In this one, I talk about working on the second draft of my novel. I am trying to write as much as I can every day, but it just takes physical time to do such things.

‘Commander Spicer’ — Lyrics To A Pop-Rock Anti-Trump Protest Song

No one cares about any of these lyrics I write, but the Trump Administration keeps churning out material for me to use that I can’t help myself. It’s cathartic, if nothing else. This song’s music would be like the song Major Tom.

Commander Spicer
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

In front of the crowd
chewing gum really loud
waiting for the next question
what will happen next you think
will then believe anything you say
it’s time for that to sink in
Trump is watching in the Oval Office
his finger on the button
he’s ready to end it all
we’re putting Iran on notice
waiting to see what happens next
there’s nothing at this point to say
but God bless

Commander Spicer you’re lying yet again
Commander Spicer you’re lying yet again
Commander Spicer you’re lying yet again

we’re all afraid of what Trump will do
it’s your job to be his stooge
you left your honor at the door
once you took the job
now people are questioning your ever move
how do you look yourself in the mirror you fool
but wait and see the tide will turn
you’ll have to do something soon
as Rome burns

we’re all worried now
what will happen because of Trump
the insane clown
the insane clown
the insane clown
but Commander Spicer you speak for him
with a stupid grin

Commander Spicer you’re lying yet again
Commander Spicer you’re lying yet again
Commander Spicer you’re lying yet again

[bridge]
we’re all alone now
we just have your lies Commander Spicer
you’re going to get us all killed
once King Trump
decides to have his next thrill

there’s nothing we can do
you’ll just take another Skype call
trying to stonewall
trying to stonewall
trying to stonewall

Next Up: May Day — Operation Blizzard

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I would just like to make the observation that the next big date to organize a protest around would be May Day. That is traditionally a day of protest, and this year should be no exception. I think since we’re always being called “snowflakes” by the alt-Right, we should counter them by being a blizzard on May 1.

‘Knob’ — Lyrics To Anti-Trump Song In The Style Of Mid-90s Pop-Rock

Don’t know how good this one is. But it was fun to write. This is meant to be a homage to Garbage’s “Stupid Girl.”

Knob
Lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

you like the taste of it
you slob all over the knob
because that’s your weakness
you’re love for it is overpowering
don’t deny it

you love to slob that knob
don’t you Donnie
don’t you Donnie
don’t you Donnie

your spit makes Putin’s knob
wet as can be
you to suck on it
till your spit is done

so suck on that knob
slobber all you like
just keep on loving it
until you go blind

there’s nothing I can say
that will dissuade you your goal
you’re going to suck on that knob
until your time is done

so keep sucking
on that knob
on that knob
on that knob
you’ve really done it now
going to suck on it all night long
until Russia’s marching into Kiev

[bridge]
but you’re in control of your fate
there’s little I can do at this late date
you’re going to do as you like
no matter what happens next

so we’re all doomed
as you suck on that knob
as you suck on that knob
as you suck on that knob

you’re ready to rob
us of our freedom
simply because you can’t control
your love of that knob

Talk To Me Internet, Nov. 19th 2016 #Trump #JonStewart #Hamilton #Ukraine

sheltonProfileby Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

In today’s Talk To Me Internet, I chat about a wide range of things. I talk about Jon Stewart maybe running for office, Donald Trump continuing to inspire me to write protest songs and various other things. I really don’t want to be engaged anymore in politics, but I can’t help myself because Trump keeps pissing me off. I also talk some about the possibility that Russia might invade Ukraine in a general war.

‘Short Fingered Vulgarian At The Gates’: Lyrics To A Funky Pop Rock Anti-Trump Song

sheltonProfileThe music to this would be gritty, funky and hard rock like The Rolling Stones’ Undercover Of The Night. That’s the song I’m using as my guide, at least. This did not turn out as well as I had hoped, but I did write it really, really, really fast. So, a professional producer along with a co-writer could punch it up to make it better. You’d need really cool rock music to go with it.

Short Fingered Vulgarian At The Gates
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

the president’s broken yet another protocol
the press pool’s yelling for answers
makes blood drip from your eyes
America’s Mayor calls you a goon and a thug
just for protesting in the streets

be afraid baby
be very afraid indeed
a short fingered vulgarian is near
a short fingered vulgarian is at the gates

though Hillary got the most votes
Mr. Bannon is now in control
so be careful what you say, what you do
all because of emails
lady liberty is in danger
her pussy will be grabbed without consent

be afraid baby
be very afraid indeed
a short fingered vulgarian is near
a short fingered vulgarian is at the gates

the young people leave school headed for the streets
where they are met by the police
but they don’t mind one bit
not one bit at all
’cause the writing’s on the wall
should scare us all to death
as to what will happen next

be afraid baby
be very afraid indeed
a short fingered vulgarian is near
a short fingered vulgarian is at the gates

grown men burst into tears at the thought
that our fate has brought us to this point
they wonder if they’re going to vanish
into the night never to be seen again
should they cross Mr. Bannon’s wishes

be afraid baby
be very afraid indeed
a short fingered vulgarian is near
a short fingered vulgarian is at the gates